Work sucks, I know

sorry its been so long since I last updated, this week I started my new job. I cant help but feeling that there is something wrong with my decision. I know I've talked before about my hesitation to accept this position. But now not only am I questioning the decision to stick with nursing in general but also that I may have chosen a less than desirable unit to work on. On day one of orientation we were each asked to stand, say our name and what unit we would be working on. With about 30 new nurses starting for the whole hospital in the room, 7 of us were headed for the same floor. Now I know there is somewhat of a nursing shortage but that's unheard of! On day two I received even more disturbing news, 7 were hired but 14 open positions actually existed. I quickly asked the informant why so many nurses were needed, her answer was short and sweet "high turnover" she said. When I attempted to probe further as to WHY there was such a high turnover she simply stated that there were "many reasons". I'm trying desperately to turn over a new leaf, stay positive about my choices and  go where life takes me but its very hard not to second guess. The hospital orients for 8 days in a skills lab and then sends us to the actual unit. So first hand I have not been able to make any observations. For now I am left to rack my brain wondering why things could be so bad that 14 Rn's want to leave their job. 

After reading this I know I will be disappointed in myself for worrying and wondering instead of just going in with an open mind.  Maybe I'm over-thinking things, maybe there's nothing wrong with the unit, maybe everyone left to pursue their education, maybe those 14 people were horrible workers, maybe they were involved in an underground drug smuggling operation (ok that's probably a little far fetched). I just hope that everything turns out good in the end. Even if it doesn't all turn out fine, everything happens for a reason, right?

What was I thinking?

Ive been thinking a lot about a career change. As a junior in high school I chose Physicians Assistant as my future occupation. I did this because I wanted a career that was stable where I'd never have to worry about not getting a job or not having enough money.  To achieve this I would pursue an undergraduate degree in Nursing, work for awhile to gain some experience and then apply for PA graduate school. I think this life plan was a mistake. At the time I understood very little about what it meant to work a full time job. I didn't understand that I would be spending most of my time over the next 30-40 years working in whatever occupation I had chosen so I really gave no though as to if I would enjoy life as an RN or PA.

Once I had explained my plans to my family, they were so proud of me. They responded with comments like "you made a great decision, I cant think of a better profession", "you will always be marketable in the work field" or "your future is looking so bright, we have high expectations for you" and so on. Because I had such support in my decision to become a nurse, I never gave much thought to my other options. So all through college I stayed on track and graduated with my Bachelors of Science in Nursing. I remember having doubts about nursing during my classes and even after graduation but at the time I attributed it to jitters and nervousness. After graduation I landed a job and worked for almost a year,with minimal satisfaction, until my decision to leave Kansas. I have reluctantly accepted a nursing position here in my new home (I'll try not to complain to much). This time it will be different, I will try approach this position in the most positive light. Second, I'll be taking the initiative this time to keep looking for other career possibilities for my future.

One word of advise: Don't listen to anyone but yourself when it comes to your career choice. If you have made a decision that doesn't feel right anymore, change it. Do what you want to do, and have a profession that makes you happy.